we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
