Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize