she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
