My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
