if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
