he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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