Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
