also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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