What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
