I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
