As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
barbara walters just said penis...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
