Kiss
Puke
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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