You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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