i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
