I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
