What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
