I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It was like getting head from an anaconda
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just want to make out with him forever
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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