I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
