i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
As shirtless as possible
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
