My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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