real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
