The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Are my feet made of real feet?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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