When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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