So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
