I would go down on you faster than GM stock
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
