If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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