Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
