??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
