people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
