you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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