I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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