maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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