I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
