apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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