have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
