didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
When are your genitals available?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
