remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
