never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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