areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
