I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
