I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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