We're facebook friends in real life
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
