covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
