his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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