wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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