Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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