I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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