BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
