why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize