the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We had to coat check the pizza.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
