UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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