I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
