I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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