Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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