So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
