Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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