yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
