i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
and she was petting her beer can
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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