How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
