DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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