Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
